That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
