Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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