WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
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