I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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