after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
