How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
as a side note pls kill me
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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