why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want to make out with him forever
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize