dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So here I am, sexting at work.
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