How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
