The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize