I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
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We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
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I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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