u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
