lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just want to make out with him forever
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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