My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
