4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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