it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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