The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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