are you so shy because you have an std?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
