Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
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The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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