i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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