Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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