Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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