I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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