I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
