So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
