Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
