Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
