You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
