How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
