he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
