Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
