matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
