Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Randomize
