My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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