im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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