Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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