she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
