i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
