Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wear drunk well.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
