One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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