im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
