I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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