Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
