Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
