how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
