Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
