is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Come share oat with me in your robe
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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