she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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