I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize