Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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