I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she looked like the before picture.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
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At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
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You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize