What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
