Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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