Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
