You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
