Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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