She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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