they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
