and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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