i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
