Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
